I Am Sorry

The lessons we learn are often the result of disappointments, hurts, and mistakes that we make. In fact, I would venture to say that for me, that is the only time I learn these lessons. I have been told that I am a nerd and that I think too much. True! I admit that I like to intellectualize everything and come up with solutions and discover truths. Maybe; some of that serves me well and is important for my work and for my faith.

What is also true is that it does not serve the purpose of Jesus coming to this earth. He often chastised the Pharisees for intellectualizing the truths and the law and behavior. He more often, praised the little children and those that showed humility and love toward others. He also praised the humble sinner. He lifted up those without pride not those that demonstrated a prideful intelligence.

Why do I bring this up? My greatest lessons come from my own experience. My greatest strengths in business are my greatest weaknesses at home. I work hard and do my homework and try to know the facts. I have come to realize that with my wife, I need to simply listen and respond sometimes differently than at work. As an example, when my wife appears to be hurt by something I said, trying to understand why she is hurting and then try to justify my own response. Wow, does that not work! Just recognizing that something I said hurt her is all that is needed, with a simple statement, “Will you forgive me?”. That is all that is needed.

That response may be frustrating to someone who is constantly looking for answers on the job and who is praised for finding appropriate answers through research and experience. I think that Jesus came to earth to tell us that is not the way of heaven. He was so radical that even the apostles could not get it until the Spirit appeared to them. Then they were willing to die for the lessons they learned.

Would you be willing to die for your wife just because she is your wife, not because she did something right or noble? In the same way, would you be willing to die for Christ when all is on the line and you have a way out of death through intellectualizing the reason you should not die? I think that when the going gets tough, we revert to what is easiest and logical…at least most of us men. It is hard as a man who lives in a world of winning and success and the intellectual to simply respond to hurt or love or kindness without some form of justification.

Yet the rewards for bucking the innate male response is far beyond any reward or success. Hard lesson? You bet. Is it worth it? More than you know. I think that is why most men mellow when they retire. They finally get it. Why wait? Maybe it is time to get it now and love your wife and kids and family with a love that is sacrificial and humbling. I know I am learning that lesson (albeit with wounds along the way).

If you truly want to be loved in a special way, you need to love in a special way. Commit with me to love your wife as if Jesus stands behind her and your love for her is a love for Jesus through her. I think that is why Jesus invented marriage. It was not just to have children. It was to learn what the love of Jesus and His love for us was about. Remember when He comes again we will be His bride according to the Bible. Marriage has a purpose far beyond what the many books on marriage say. Love your wife as if she were Jesus and you will find a reward that is Heavenly!



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This is a book about transforming your family legacy – both today and in generations to come.  It is for Christian families who want to eliminate estate and capital gains taxes, maintain their current lifestyle, pass on an appropriate inheritance to their heirs, maximize giving to worthy ministries, create healthier family relationships and leave a lasting legacy to impact God’s kingdom.

joe-sturnioloBy Joe Sturniolo
Christian Family Legacy and Wealth Planning
Joe believes that stronger families are the vehicle God uses to bring about significant impact for His Kingdom.

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