How to Create a Blessing

A blessing is as old as the Bible. We can even look to the first book of the Bible to see examples of how father’s blessed their children. Gary Smalley and John Trent wrote a book called ‘The Blessing” that shares the history and tactics of giving a blessing in today’s culture. I have formally blessed both of my children, my father and mother in ceremonies that impacted all who attended.

So how do you implement a blessing?

There are five components to a blessing: Meaningful Touch, Spoken Word, Expressing High Value, Picturing a Special Future, and an Active Commitment.

1. Meaningful Touch 
Every blessing starts with some sort of meaningful touch. It should signify something important is about to happen. This can be as simple as a hand on their shoulder as you read your blessing, a hug or kiss or having all in attendance lay hands on them. Props such as a sword, shield or book are also helpful to reinforce the message.

2. Spoken Words

This is the most critical part of the blessing. Use the following questions to help you choose your spoken words:

  • What are some of the things that make you smile when you think of them?
  • What is unique about them? What do they do or embody that no one else does quite the same?
  • How do they interact with the world around them?
  • What have you noticed about the way they affect others who know them?
  • How do you envision – (or have already seen) the way only they can make an imprint on the world and people around them.

3. Expressing High Value

 The words you share expressing high value should not be linked to any performance. It should focus on qualities and character traits they inherently possess. It is best communicated through word pictures. 1) Use an everyday object to demonstrate and 2) match the emotional meaning of the trait you are praising with the object you have picked. Example: Amanda, you are like a Jack in the box. You continue to pop up with excitement and energy and surprises. Anyone that comes across your path will be changed and moved and entertained. You will “pop up” into so many lives.

4. Picture a Special Future

Provide a vision for the person you are blessing based on their unique qualities. Keep in mind:

a. There needs to be the consistency of the past. For that reason, it is good to use God’s vision and intention for their lives because he has been reliable in the past. We all tend to be inconsistent, and that can hinder our message.

b. We need a commitment to the present. The degree of certainty our children have in whether we will be around long enough to see our predictions come to pass is important. The commitment of one spouse to the other has to resonate with the children for the message to resonate.

5. An Active Commitment

 This all starts with the recognition that only God can fully bless them. Therefore, the first step of communicating an active commitment is to commit the person being blessed to the Lord. The second commitment is one where mom and dad commit their lives to the children’s best interest. Ponder what unique needs the person you are blessing requires.

There is no better way to demonstrate to your children how much you love them and how uniquely God has designed and gifted them for His plan for their lives. This can become their passage to adulthood if they are teenagers or early twenties. If they are older, it can cement your commitment to their future and who they are. Remember this is not about performance. It is about sharing the love of God for our children.


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joe-sturnioloBy Joe Sturniolo
Christian Family Legacy and Wealth Planning
Joe believes that stronger families are the vehicle God uses to bring
about significant impact for His Kingdom.

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